Tag: meaning

  • Sparvens visa

    Sparvens visa

    Hör du sparven lilla, far du inte illa,
    när som vintern är så sträng och kall.

    Utan mycken möda, lär du dig att föda,
    som är nästan minst av fåglar all.

    Listen, little sparrow, do you not suffer
    when winter is so harsh and cold?

    Yet with little effort, you learn to feed yourself,
    though you are among the smallest of all birds.

    This is how the Swedish folk song begins.

    Most of the time, when we read literature, we try to understand all kinds of ideas. We turn the pages of numerous books, sit and think about answers, or try to find a meaning. Sometimes we are not even aware that we are searching for one, or that we are in need of one. But suddenly, a song catches your ear. Its melody gently invites your mind, and its lyrics take your hand into their unique universe.

    Sometimes it is as simple as that.

    Kan du fågel lätta, mig helt kort berätta,
    från det allra första, minsta med det största.

    Säg om dig behagar, om din levnads dagar,
    ifrån början till din levnads slut.

    Little bird, can you tell me briefly
    of all things, from the smallest to the greatest?

    Tell me, if you will, about your life,
    of all your days, from its very beginning to its end.

    Sometimes I wish I had a magic lamp or a magic sphere that could tell me what I need right now, why I want a certain thing, and why I have what I have. Then I realize that we already have something like that in our lives. The only difference is that it does not always come in the shape of a sphere or in the form of a lamp.

    Sometimes it is a folk song.

    Although I try to understand this “flow” and accompany it, I cannot help asking: Could this have beenthat instead? Could I have had this rather thanthat? Whythis? Why not that?

    Stinn uti min kräva, hämtad utav näva,
    klara vattendroppar utan silver koppar.

    My belly is full, filled with clear drops of water,
    offered by hand, without a silver cup.

    I found one of the most persuasive truths in the lyrics of a Swedish folk song.

    It was this, not that, because this was what I needed to have, what I needed to experience, what I needed to leave behind. Although this sounds like a cliché, it is not as easy to digest and accept as it may sound.

    The sparrow found water. It had what it needed, without needing a silver cup. It needed water, and somehow, it found the water it needed.

    Perhaps this is where I started thinking about how we live.

    Schopenhauer famously described life as swinging like a pendulum between pain and boredom – the pain of unfulfilled desire and the boredom that follows when our desires are satisfied.

    Sometimes I think that nowadays, instead of our lives simply swinging like a pendulum, we have become pendulums ourselves. But between what are we – pendulums – oscillating exactly?

    Oscillating between possibilities and realities. Between what we hoped for and what we found. 

    Between what we wanted and what we got. Between what could have been and what actually happened.

    We start with “what I want” and end with “what I could not get”.

    Somewhere between these two ends, however, there is a life being lived.

    And I sometimes think that this is the part we forget.

    We become so occupied with the distance between what we hoped for and what we found that we stop seeing everything that happens in between. We look at one end and then the other, comparing, measuring, imagining alternatives. We wonder whether we should have had this instead of that, whether we should have been somewhere else, whether another possibility would have suited us better.

    And while we are doing this, life is happening in the middle.

    Are our lives, or our existence, really all about our desires and our failures? Why do we reduce everything to such simple terms when doing so does not even serve us? Why do we reduce ourselves to pendulums?

    Why do we keep asking what we could have had while forgetting to notice what has already found its way to us?

    Anything and everything may go right or wrong. You may have this and not have that now. It may be your failure or your success.

    But perhaps there is something else happening too.

    The sparrow needed water. It found water.

    And perhaps we, too, keep meeting what we need in forms we would never have thought to ask for. Not because everything necessarily happens for a reason, and not because every experience is secretly designed for us, but because life is not made up only of what we hoped to find.

    It is also made up of what we encounter along the way – what sustains us, what changes us, what teaches us, what we leave behind, and what allows us to continue.

    Sometimes I wonder whether this is why certain things arrive in our lives exactly when they do.

    We may never know.

    Maybe you are served your coffee in a cartoon cup rather than a ceramic one because, at that moment, you were simply meant to have some coffee. Maybe the ceramic cup would have made no difference at all. Maybe you were protected from a possibility you could not see. Or maybe you are supposed to invent something out of the burning sensation in your hand.

    Or maybe it was simply a cartoon cup.

    Who knows?

    We have our desires and our achievements. Where are they now?

    What kind of feelings do your achievements awaken in you? And what about your desires?

    I decided that I do not want to be a pendulum, missing my life while oscillating between “what could have been” and “what could be”.

    I want to notice what happens in between.

    This may also be a starting point. I will definitely continue wanting, wondering, imagining different possibilities, and maybe bargaining with the universe, but I decided to stop living in the void of the distance between what I hoped for and what I found. I do not want this spectrum to be the whole measure of my life.

    I have come to see the simple yet warm sentence of Elizabeth von Arnim a little differently:

    How grateful I felt to the kindly Fate that has brought me here and given me a heart to understand my own blessedness.

    It may not be about believing that everything happened exactly as it was supposed to happen.

    It may be about realizing that, somehow, we are here.

    And that somewhere between what we hoped for and what we found, there was a life that brought us here.

    The sparrow did not need a silver cup.

    It needed water. And it found it.
    Then it flew and landed in her garden.

    Artwork: Rex. I eskizas iš vitražų diptiko, Mikalojus Konstantinas Čiurlionis

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  • Colorless Green Ideas Sleep Furiously

    Colorless Green Ideas Sleep Furiously

    Colorless Green Ideas Sleep Furiously. 

    Wise words by Noam Chomsky? Maybe not exactly. But I wonder what has sparked before your eyes and inside your mind when you first bump into this sentence.

    Can something be both colorless and green at the same time? Can something sleep, and do so furiously? Can all of these qualities possibly be attributed to “ideas”?

    With this sentence, you have actually just encountered a flagship of the field of syntax in linguistics. Noam Chomsky used this phrase to demonstrate that a sentence can be perfectly correct in its grammar while making little or no logical sense at all. However, I have always found myself thinking about it beyond its syntactic purpose.

    More or less, we expect everything we do or encounter to carry some degree of logical and structural coherence. We tend to look for things that fit together, make sense, and belong together. We tend to consider things that fit into our ready-made intellectual systems more legitimate, often without questioning them too much.

    But perhaps coherence does not always have to mean similarity or consistency. As this sentence suggests, something can contain apparent ambiguity, opposition, or even contradiction, and still form a whole of its own.

    Maybe this is what has always intrigued me about it. Colorless and green seem to cancel each other out. Sleep and furiously do not seem to belong to the same action. And yet, put them together, and we recognize a sentence. Not a traditionally sensible one, perhaps, but a sentence nonetheless. The contradictions do not prevent the words from forming something whole.

    That made me think about how often we expect the things around us to be compatible before we allow them to belong together. We like our ideas to be coherent, our arguments to be well-structured, our choices to make sense. We polish them, arrange them, and make sure nothing seems out of place. Maybe because we carry the silent conscious fear of being undermined or criticized for our self-expression.

    But does something really become more meaningful simply because all its pieces agree with one another?

    And on the other hand, does something become less meaningful when they do not? Who, or what, decides the extent of meaningfulness? At what point does something become absolute nonsense?

    An idea does not necessarily have to dress in haute couture, wear expensive perfume, and present itself impeccably to be valuable. It may arrive a little untidy. It may contradict itself somewhere along the way. It may not know exactly how to introduce itself, or fit neatly into the structure we were expecting. That does not necessarily make what it carries any less worth considering.

    I find myself going back and forth between these two thoughts without knowing where one ends and the other begins.

    We seem to have a strong preference for things that match. We call them coherent, consistent, logical. We often treat these qualities almost as proof that something belongs together.

    But Colorless Green Ideas Sleep Furiously does something rather odd with that expectation. Its elements contradict one another, and yet the contradiction does not destroy the whole. It is, in a way, precisely what makes the sentence what it is.

    So, I start wondering whether we sometimes mistake agreement for coherence.

    Whether things really need to resemble one another, support one another, or even make sense beside one another in order to form something meaningful.

    I don’t know if they do.

    The more I think about it, the more this starts to feel a little like asking whether the chicken came before the egg. If I insist on finding which one comes first, I am already assuming that there has to be a first one.

    Perhaps I am doing something similar here, trying to decide what makes a whole coherent when the very things that make it up may not have much in common at all.

    And maybe that is why I keep coming back to this sentence occasionally.

    Not because it makes sense, or nonsense. Quite the opposite.

    It doesn’t, and yet it holds together.

    It reminds me, sometimes, that perhaps we can allow something to exist without putting too much pressure on ourselves to attribute some grand, almost biblical meaning to it. What seems to neutralize or diminish meaning when placed together may, in fact, create an unexpected harmony that jiggles a corner of our minds.

    Sometimes a structure is enough. Sometimes an ambiguity is enough. Sometimes none of it is enough. Or sometimes everything is enough.

    What decides what, anyway?

    Maybe we sometimes feel unsatisfied because we do not dare to create our own colorless green ideas. We dismiss the possibility that it is up to us to decide that our ideas can sleep in a furious way.

    I don’t know.

    It seems to me that we are too invested in labeling everything, even our way of thinking. We want to know where something belongs before allowing ourselves to see what it might become. We keep trying to place things inside familiar structures, stuffing them with what we already recognize as consistent ideas.

    But perhaps the interesting part is what happens when something does not quite fit.

    It may be, for you, a serene uproar, dull neon yellow, a stupid genius idea, the silent conscious fear I mentioned above, or maybe sweet-chili sauce. The last one does not contradict itself in your mind because, in some cultures, people dared to put those things together and it worked out perfectly fine.

    I think one way or another, everyone has a system, a structure of their own. But we may miss the plot twist by focusing too much on filling that structure with what we already know as consistent.

    Maybe we just need to let our ideas flow without constantly considering whether they carry some universal meaning. And perhaps we should ask: meaning according to what, or whom?

    At some point, especially when we are trying to know ourselves or create a space that reflects us, we may need to become our own first expert.

    Whatever we do or intend to create does not necessarily have to produce a “universal for others” outcome. It may be applauded, but perhaps part of that applause comes simply from our senses becoming accustomed to it. We grow familiar with certain forms, certain structures, certain ways of making sense.

    I think sometimes we should question the universe inside us, and the universality we keep trying to produce from it.

    Maybe your universe wants to do something not out of the box, but in the corner of the box. Or even in front of the box.

    There is something comforting in the idea that not everything has to become a universally recognizable shape before it is allowed to exist.

    I believe it is important to let something exist just for our own sake. And colorless green ideas show that perhaps it can take only one sentence to achieve that.

    We should allow ourselves to be, simply for the sake of being. To exist without immediately asking what that existence is supposed to mean.

    There must be more than coherence, biblical meaning, and flawless construction in what we aim to give life to, utter, create, or simply let rest inside a corner of our mind.

    Anything and everything is fine. What matters most, perhaps, is to pull up a chair for yourself without being too busy with universal expectations.

    There must be more than outer universality.

    We should not give up discovering the universe we carry simply by existing. Respecting that “self-universality” may eventually let us decorate the corners of that box. Maybe there will be no box in the future, but a circle, a hexagon, or something we have not named yet.

    And perhaps it is not “who knows?” anymore, but “who decides to do that?”

    There is something oddly satisfying about that contradiction. It makes me wonder how many things we might be trying too hard to make fit, simply because we have learned to associate harmony with agreement.

    Maybe they can contradict each other and still belong to the same whole.

    Maybe we do not always need to resolve the contradiction for the whole to remain intact.

    Or maybe I am just giving a rather elaborate meaning to a sentence about colorless green ideas sleeping furiously.

    I suppose I don’t mind either way.

    Colorless green ideas can sleep furiously, or even furiously green ideas can sleep colorlessly.

    So, what about your ideas? Would you bring green and colorless together? Would you let something sleep furiously?

    Up to you.

    Artwork: Aurora Borealis, Frederic Edwin Church

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  • My Life Had Stood a Loaded Gun

    My Life Had Stood a Loaded Gun

    There are certain sentences that feel less like literature and more like recognition. You do not simply read them; you recognize something that has been quietly living within you all along.

    This is how I feel whenever I truly pause at Emily Dickinson’s My Life Had Stood a Loaded Gun. Words written by a stranger, perhaps centuries ago, can suddenly become mirrors for thoughts I had never managed to articulate myself.

    My Life Had Stood – a Loaded Gun –.

    The metaphor has stayed with me ever since.

    What if my life has stood like a loaded gun, and every experience I have lived has become another bullet?

    But then another question followed.

    What are these bullets really made of?

    Could words themselves become my bullets in this lifetime?

    Who decides where they are aimed?

    Am I truly capable of deciding what this gun will yield, or am I merely the one carrying it?

    For a long time now, I have been trying not to resist what people often call the flow. Yet before surrendering to an idea, I cannot help questioning it.

    Can we truly persuade ourselves that such a thing exists?

    We speak of flow as though it were self-evident. We encourage one another to trust it, surrender to it, and stop resisting it. Yet if there truly is a flow, why am I being carried into this one and not another? Could its mystery lie in never knowing its direction, its contents, or the story into which it has already placed us?

    Despite these questions, I still believe in free will. I believe in planning, determination, responsibility, and conscious decisions. Yet I cannot ignore that life continually confronts us with boundaries we never chose ourselves: the things that happen, the things that never happen, the opportunities that quietly appear, the ones that disappear despite every effort, and the unexpected situations into which we somehow find ourselves being pulled.

    If there truly is a flow, perhaps we do not simply believe in it—we eventually recognize it through the shape our lives take.

    For as long as I can remember, I have believed that nothing happens in vain.

    And for me, it has never been Why me?

    It has always been Why this?

    Life simply keeps happening to everyone.

    Beautiful things. Painful things.

    Ordinary things. Life-changing things.

    None of them belong exclusively to us.

    What fascinates me is not that these things happen.

    It is how differently they continue to exist after they have happened.

    The very same event may quietly dissolve into one person’s memory while becoming another person’s identity.

    A conversation, a rejection, a delayed train, a city, a diagnosis, a book, a success, or even a stranger encountered only for a brief moment may continue living within someone for years—not because the event itself was extraordinary, but because of the meaning gradually woven around it.

    Perhaps this is also why I have never felt comfortable with how easily we reduce life’s turning points to heartbreak.

    Is that really the case?

    Perhaps we call it heartbreak because every outcome eventually finds its way into the heart. Every ending, every disappointment, every unanswered question seems to leave something behind there.

    But does everyone truly carry life in the heart?

    Or do some carry it somewhere else? Or nowhere at all?

    Perhaps that is another question altogether.

    There are heartbreaks, certainly.

    But along with heartbreaks, there are also mind-breaks.

    Dream-breaks. Ideal-breaks. Identity-breaks.

    And countless quieter fractures that rarely have a name.

    Sometimes what changes us is not the loss of a person, but the loss of an idea. A certainty. A future we had already begun living inside our minds. A version of ourselves that never came into existence.

    Perhaps these are the bullets.

    Not the events themselves, but the meanings we slowly forge from them.

    The bullet is not the rejection, the city, the illness, the book, the success, or the heartbreak. Those belong to life.

    The bullet is what remains after they pass through us—the meaning that quietly settles within us, gradually shaping how we understand ourselves and, eventually, how we move through the world.

    Maybe that is why nothing happens in vain.

    Not because every event carries an objective purpose waiting to be discovered, but because meaning is never entirely contained within the event itself. It comes into existence in the encounter between life and the person living it.

    Perhaps this is also why I have never been interested only in asking what happened.

    I find myself asking a different question nowadays.

    Who did it happen to?

    Because perhaps that is where meaning truly begins.

    The event may be ordinary. The person who carries it never is.

    That ordinary event may eventually become a painting, a piece of writing, a photograph, a melody, a conversation remembered years later, or even a small pin attached to someone’s bag.

    The event belongs to life.

    The meaning gradually becomes part of the person.

    So why am I here, thinking these thoughts and sharing them?

    And why are you here, reading and witnessing my possible bullets?

    Out of all the places in this virtual universe and out of all the words ever written, why would our paths happen to cross here, in this particular moment?

    Maybe there is no answer.

    Or perhaps there never needed to be one.

    Perhaps what we spend a lifetime carrying is not the weight of our experiences, but the meanings we create from them.

    And perhaps what this loaded gun ultimately yields has never depended solely on what happened to us, but on who we became while carrying every bullet.

    Artwork: Expectations, Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema

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